Friday, May 28, 2010

John Galt Wore Pro Wings

As a kid, my parents always bought me shoes from Payless. This is how I uncovered the connection between Ayn Rand and Kris Kross. Let me explain...

It was a BOGO, and my parents thought it would be a great idea for me to get two pairs of the exact same shoe. Do you know what happens when a ten-year-old has two pairs of the same shoe? He wears both lefts to school. And yeah, he plays it off to his friends as intentional and all that mucho macho mess, but he still ends up getting yelled at by the powers who thought that the two-pair thing was a good idea and, as a lesson, is forced to label the inside and outside of his shoes L1, R1, L2, R2.

With stylistics like this, it was no surprise that everyone on the block looked to me for artistic expressions of moral purpose. Sweatpant cut-offs, PlayStationed shoes, socks higher than Method Man on Jamaican Airlines. I was warming it up and showing those fascist suckers how it was done. I didn't need Jordans or Pumps. I had Pro Wings.

But going into 6th grade, I succumbed to the peer pressure of statism. So I saved up, tossed the generics, and bought a pair of Reebok Classics. Did the new shoes detract me from my self-interested ways? Not when I was still secretly wearing girl’s jeans. What up Ms. Rand?

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