The Anti-Family Movement

Due to the overwhelming support I’ve received in response to The Family Deception, I’ve decided to start the Anti-Family Movement.

As previously discussed, families are granted all types of privileges. This is not only dangerous (notice the "lies" in family), it is also unjust. Established groups have organizations that advocate for their rights. Family rights. Gay rights. Warrior rights. That’s cool and all, but where does this leave non-gays, non-warriors, and non-gay warriors?

This is where the Anti-Family Movement comes in. We fight for:

• Logical tax breaks. Parents can claim dependents because they have children. That’s fine, but family-sized refunds should be issued to those without kids.


• Tighter airport security. Families get to go through a special security line. This is almost right. But it needs to be “on ice.”


• Improved public health. If you arrive in public with more than 3 blood relatives, you should pay a toll for sidewalk damage and space pollution.


• New rules of the road. Drivers without family passengers should have higher speed limits and the right to flying cars.


• Fair access to smaller, cheaper (and often better) meals. Maybe I don’t want a steak. Maybe I want four taco nuggets, a grape juice box, and an applesauce cup.

Please support the Anti-Family Movement by wearing a button, designing a float for the upcoming parade, or taking interest in summer work for students that pays $1500 a month.

The Family Deception--aka The Truth

Kids. Wow. They're really coming out this summer. Seems like more now than ever. But while kids may look cute, these pint-sized people are not all toys and stickers. Kids need to be fed and taken care of. They are like really expensive pets--but that's nothing compared to their true deceptive nature.

Let me lay it out for you. With kids usually come parents, and that's were the problem begins. Overcrowded roads. Overcrowded schools. An overcrowded planet. These are all the result of people imitating what they see on the Discovery Channel.

Do you know who's behind the Discovery Channel? The Family Party--the original political machine. The Family Party controls all the major media outlets in the world. They even control the New World Order. Don't believe me? Check the Internet. The facts don't lie--and somebody's been lying.

Do you think it's a coincidence that families get all these breaks? Tax breaks. Cheaper admission to theme parks. Access to special locker rooms. Do you know what goes on in family locker rooms? Secret meetings. Secret meetings that only families can attend. And the real trip is that the parents are not the ones in charge. The parents are just the foot soldiers and spokespeople for the Family Party. The rulers of the Family Party are the kids. The younger the kid, the higher their power and status in the Original World Order.

If you see a toddler, you do what I do--run. If you see an infant, pretend it's a bear and play dead. The less physical mobility a kid has, the more powerful their mental magic and mind control.

Wake up! You didn't vote for Obama--you voted for his kids.