Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Anti-Family Movement

Due to the overwhelming support I’ve received in response to The Family Deception, I’ve decided to start the Anti-Family Movement.

As previously discussed, families are granted all types of privileges. This is not only dangerous (notice the "lies" in family), it is also unjust. Established groups have organizations that advocate for their rights. Family rights. Gay rights. Warrior rights. That’s cool and all, but where does this leave non-gays, non-warriors, and non-gay warriors?

This is where the Anti-Family Movement comes in. We fight for:
  • Logical tax breaks. Parents can claim dependents because they have children. That’s fine, but family-sized refunds should be issued to those without kids.

  • Tighter airport security. Families get to go through a special security line. This is almost right. But it needs to be “on ice.”

  • Improved public health. If you arrive in public with more than 3 blood relatives, you should pay a toll for sidewalk damage and space pollution.

  • New rules of the road. Drivers without family passengers should have higher speed limits and the right to flying cars.

  • Fair access to smaller, cheaper (and often better) meals. Maybe I don’t want a steak. Maybe I want four taco nuggets, a grape juice box, and an applesauce cup.

Please support the Anti-Family Movement by wearing a button, designing a float for the upcoming parade, or taking interest in summer work for students that pays $1500 a month.

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