Sunday, July 25, 2010

You Can't Blog Your Way into Heaven

I don’t like writing. Many people find this odd. After all, I have a blog. But to me, my reluctance to writing is perfectly logical. I don’t like it.

It hasn’t always been this way. I used to like nothing more than to write. In high school, I was recognized for my ability to write about grapes. In college, I started my own news publication.

Then I reached the pinnacle of the writing world—I became a blogger, eventually blogging on the highest level, the Internet. There, reality began to tear away at the fantasy world I had created, making me exactly like anyone who’s ever thought something was a good choice and then found it’s really not (e.g., the grown man who performs Britney Spears showcases at family parties; the kids who major in communication more than once).

I dreamed of the day that I would share a cyber space with like-minded grocery clerk revolutionaries, basking in the expression of hackneyed ideals, only to find that the only parts of our minds that were alike were the ones devoted to bananas and barefoot running.

Big deal, right? So my life is a lot like everyone’s. Who cares? Except that, in the example I live, the loss of innocence is even more pronounced.

So, after weeks of cultivating the public image of a devout born-again-in-waiting, I have decided to reveal to you some of the putridity that I’ve long known to exist. And I do so with the utmost benevolence. But prepare yourself. What I’m about to tell you is something that even a one-hour Pat Robertson interview couldn’t ever hope to do.

Blogging is escapism. It is the opiate of lost souls. Blogging does not help people grapple with the big issues of existence and purpose. That’s what watching LeBron James play basketball is for.

Oh, sure, there are those who disagree—those who paint blogging as participating in some type of democratic, synergistic woo-ha. And sometimes they are right. Sometimes, blogging achieves something close to truth, justice, and beauty.

But let’s be honest. Most people blog because they don't have King James in their life.

1 comment:

  1. Meta Physics, this must have taken much courage to unleash. tipping hat.