This weekend I went hiking at Starved Rock State Park. We got lost on the way there. This totally makes sense because Starved Rock sounds like a really skinny rock, which probably makes it hard to see.
Immersing myself into nature changed my life. I got to experience things that only happen in the wild. I laughed at an abandoned recliner in the Illinois River. I became friends with a fish named Roger. I smeared mud on my face to signify my regression into noble savagehood. I karate-chopped a waterfall. And I vandalized a bridge by writing “vandalizm not permitted” on it.
While I was busy challenging the limitations of the human spirit, Marj (my hiking partner) was busy tumbling down the side of a jagged canyon. “Golly,” I said under my breath. “Maybe I should start taking this time as a serious opportunity to learn more about myself.”
And that’s exactly what I did. Marj cleaned up her wounds with a mapkin (*1) and I began a hardcore soul search. I searched, and searched, and searched, but to no avail, I returned to civilization still unable to understand Tyler Perry movies.
1: a wet map used as a napkin.
2: a map drawn on a cloth or towel.