Thursday, November 19, 2009

Snuggie Hate Explained

A recent study shows that animosity toward the Snuggie is up nearly 7000 percent from three minutes ago. It’s even bumped religion and sports out of the number one and two spots of things not to bring up at the dinner table. So what’s the deal? Why do we hate on the Snuggie?
  • We hate because we’re jealous. We want to be a Snuggie, but we can’t, so we hate. We did the same thing with 2Pac.

  • We hate because we don’t understand. The Snuggie is the Interweb of this generation--we can’t even begin to comprehend how it will change the way we communicate, conduct business, or get our music.

  • We hate because we like to dislike whatever the current decade will be remembered for. Hence, we hate on the Snuggie whenever we aren’t hating on skinny jeans, auto-tune, chicken, or hair cuts.

  • We hate because we aren’t happy with Obama. Maybe he should stop wearing the Snuggie.
Now, if learning has taught me anything, it’s that we need to embrace some stuff. And the Snuggie is one of those stuffs. Plus, unisex fashion that encourages lots of couch time is very U.S. of A. Still wanna hate? Fine, be inpatriotic.

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